Do you know the French Women Never Do things?

1. Diet.

Frenchwomen don’t get fat. This is a set up science actuality. In any case, you might need to reconsider before eating “right” and “working out” to understand that French outline. Frenchwomen don’t arrange their dinners or check calories. “Frenchwomen, we don’t feel the need to alter our eating regimens,” says Lisette Chenevier, a 36-year-old style fashioner I identifies with. “We essentially eat what we wish, and after that we choose, when we are done, ‘affirm now, I am thin.’ And then… pop! It is finished. I never comprehended why American ladies fat. In France, we close our eyes hard and wish to be thin, and it simply happens. American ladies ought to attempt the same thing.”

2. Wear striking, engineered fabrics.

The ladies that walk the lanes or Paris are widely acclaimed for their straightforward, downplayed style and clean lines. What a great many people don’t know is this is a result of need. The reflectance of splendid hues is exceedingly harming to Paris’ noteworthy historic points, and they light a sign that intrudes on the Eiffel Tower’s day in and day out telecast of Françoise Hardy murmuring specifically into the ear of each French subject. “Also, polyesther makes our skin tingle,” said Odette Loisel, a 22-year-old understudy from Lyon. “What’s more, we are every one of us oversensitive to lycra.”

3. Get squandered.

“Frenchwomen don’t drink,” tittered Adeline Tison, a 28-year-old real estate agent. The negligible thought about a legitimate French young lady bumbling home following a night of drinking made her snicker at the ineptitude of my reason. “Period. We go to clubs and we move. We can’t hold a glass and move in the meantime. Holding a glass and moving is illicit here in Paris. What’s more, legitimate French women would preferably move at the club than beverage. One time, I saw a lady having a beverage at a bar as she gradually bopped from side to side. We right away knew she wasn’t French. We doubted her. You know who she was? Kate Middleton. English! Ok! Not French. It appeared well and good. ‘You don’t have a place here, Kate Middleton,’ we said. What’s more, we pushed her out the entryway. She was so embarrassed, she promptly got on a plane back to England. Ha!”


4. Rest in.

Frenchwomen adore light, and light cherishes Frenchwomen. It twists around them, bows to them. They are special ladies of the morning. “No French lady in history has ever woken up over a hour after dawn,” jeered Haute Bette, a 18-year-old design model. “I heard Kate Middleton once woke up 90 minutes after dawn. Drivel like that is the reason the British Empire fell.” You heard it here in the first place, people.

5. Date.

Dating and connect society is as remote to Frenchwomen as class and polish are to American ladies. “I don’t date to draw in men. I don’t search for adoration,” said 14-year-old trying style fashioner Nanette Manoir. “It essentially discovers me. Plotting for adoration is uncouth. Frenchwomen basically stand carefully like statues and sit tight for an admirer. We sit tight for him to demonstrate his fondness. On the off chance that he tries and falls flat, we pound him underneath our heels and utilize him as a platform on which to remain to wind up taller, that more men may see us and methodology. American ladies ought to attempt the same thing. Why are American ladies so awkward, urgent and revolting?” Why, for sure, perusers?

6. Wear cosmetics.

It is a prominent however continuing myth that immaculate French magnificence is the aftereffect of a tasteful, deft, no cosmetics look. In any case, all around, Frenchwomen spurn cosmetics in any structure. They pick rather to peel off each cubic centimeter of epidermis every morning, and grow another layer before they venture outside to welcome the day. That dewey look that their skin has? It’s real morning dew. “I’ve never worn the same skin over one day,” says Nicole Sarkozy, a 12-year-old yearning preservationist legislator. “American skin is dried up and old. I would peel it off with my fingernails, on the off chance that I had the shot. I would paw their whole fucking goes head to head.”

7. Express feeling.

Frenchwomen never grin in pictures in light of the fact that Frenchwomen never act out by any means. “Emoting is for the Italians,” spat Bernadette Peters, a 9-year-old trying style originator to whom I talked. “Italians and Italian-Americans and Americans.” Can’t contend with that!

8. Walk.

The ladies don’t stroll through the boulevards of Paris. Strolling is exertion, and exertion is sweat, and sweat is for some other nation. Rather, Frenchwomen skim. Their toe-tips float three centimeters over the cobblestones at all times. They have wings, which are imperceptible. These wings are still and don’t vacillate, even imperceptibly. “I can’t address the nature and riddle of French wings,” warbled 47-year-old Italian-conceived artist lyricist Carla Bruni. “Christ, I’ve lived here for a considerable length of time, and I just barely earned mine a few years back. I would prefer not to fuck this up by letting the cat out of the bag, you know?”

9. Age.

French ladies don’t age. Nobody is certain in the event that they kick the bucket by any means. “I haven’t matured a day in more than 200 years,” says 228-year-old preserved semi-body Félicité Marchand. “None of us age. I got in my pine box 68 years back, in light of the fact that it appeared like the time. It’s fine down here underground, sincerely. My coffin is agreeable, and you get the chance to have some great discussions with the general population covered around you, if you talk uproariously enough. It’s difficult to holler through that much soil, however not inconceivable.” I inquired as to whether she has quit peeling off her skin each morning, now that she lives underground. “Goodness,” she said. “A Frenchwomen must have her pride. Also, the extra, dead skin makes incredible sheet material.”

10. Attempt.

It was seventeenth century French rationalist René Descartes who said “Do, or don’t. There is no attempt.” René Descartes was a wonderful, rich Frenchwoman who lived by these standards. Frenchwomen don’t attempt to do anything. They don’t attempt to look great or attempt to please anybody. They don’t attempt to walk. They just buoy through life, as on their throws in the towel the stream. They essentially move with the tides, and the tides convey them to flawlessness, where they live perpetually in the sun, which adores them. Delightful foods grown from the ground tumble from the trees into their mouths, until they easily neglect to bite the dust.